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St. Mary Magdalene & St. Denys, Parish Church, Midhurst |
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Humour Midhurst Parish Church |
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A brief and humorous look at how Andrews ministry night have evolved .
The way I heard it, on his way home with his parents after a Sunday morning service, a young Andrew Cunnington announced "Mum, I've decided to become a priest when I grow up." "Great", said Mrs. Cunnington, "but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the boy, "I have to go to church on Sundays anyway, and I reckon I can have much more fun standing up front shouting than I can sitting at the back listening to old codger drone on. So he grew up and became a priest. During his early years of ministry, Fr. Andrew lived on a pretty tight budget. One morning he opened a letter from his mother and a £20 note fell out. He thought: "Thanks mum, I could really use that about now." On his way to morning prayer that day, Andrew noticed a homeless man sleeping in a shop doorway. He thought: "That fella could probably use the £20 more than I." So he put the money in an envelope, wrote in large letters across the front Have Faith!, and, so as not to make a scene, subtly dropped the envelope behind the sleeping man as he walked past. That evening as Andrew walked home, he saw the man drinking and shouting in the street, obviously very drunk. Disappointed, Andrew carried on, but began to get worried as the man came after him. Bravely, he turned to confront the drunken man, but before he could say anything the drunk pressed a large wad of cash into Andrews hand. Surprised, the young priest asked him what that was for? The man replied, This is your half of the winnings. "Have Faith won the second race at Fontwell this afternoon, and he paid 66 to 1. Fr. Andrew later married and had a family, and moved to the beautiful town of Midhurst. One day, Megan was watching her dad write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" she asked. "God gives me guidance." comes Dads reply. "Oh, so why do you keep crossing things out then?" It turns out that the sermon he was writing wasn't quite up to the usual standard. During the service, one little girl I know well became a bit restless as the sermon started to drag on a bit. She pulled me nearer and whispered, "Daddy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?" The following week, as the Sunday school children made their way from the Parish room into the Sunday morning service, Chrissie asked "And why do we have to be quite as we go in? One bright little boy replied, "So we dont wake anybody up. I once asked Andrew how long a Sermon should be. He replied, "A good sermon be should be like a woman's skirt - long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to keep you interested!" Someone else I know described Andrews sermons as More like chickens with their heads cut off- once you think the sermon is done, it just jumps back up and runs off in another direction!" Of course, we all know that the best sermons should have a good beginning and a good end - and they should be as close together as possible.
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